One of my favorite tools that someone shared with me after I lost my mom was the idea of having a “Mom Journal.” I loved it (still do) and highly recommend it!
So what’s a mom journal?
For me this journal was/is a safe, judge free, private place where I could write letters to her. It was so good for getting my expectations of the future out in the open as big events or accomplishments would approach. One of the things you are grieving when you loose someone is the future. It sounds kind of weird, but all of a sudden everything that you imagined for your life (even though nothing is guaranteed) isn’t possible anymore. It’s gut wrenching.
I’m not talking huge plans, like you have it all figured out and this massive perfect blueprint is demolished. I’m talking college graduation is coming up and naturally you pictured both parents being there, but they aren’t. I’m talking about the day you find out your pregnant and you want to call both of your parents. I’m talking about the moment when the love of your life gets down on one knee and asks you to spend forever together. Or simply when a song comes on the radio randomly and it makes you think of them.
My Dear Mom journal helped me be real with myself regarding how I was feeling and helped bring down the anxiety levels for whatever the occasion may have been. This journal isn’t intended to be weird or spooky, it’s intended to lighten the load and keep sweet memories. Because as years go by you may find that remembering small things like their favorite candy bar, favorite park, or the sound of their laugh, becomes a bit more challenging.
Please feel free to use this idea and make it your own!
Here are some things I included in mine:
- Future expectations-the things you pictured him/her being there for
- Write what you pictured it being like originally
- His/her favorite things
- To eat
- To do
- Favorite memories of you and him/her
- Letters giving them updates on life
*This is parent loss focused but it can definitely be adapted for different relationships, for your own healing, hope, and wholeness journey.