I’ve found that there are many seasons of motherhood. Someone once told me that after you give birth you will continue to cut the cord between you and your child for their lifetime. Giving them more independence to be able to grow and be healthy. Teaching and training them their entire life not just 18 years . I have been blessed with an amazing husband and 3 incredible daughters. If you know them you would agree,I’m not just saying it to brag but they are people I’m very proud of. Through the years there has been highs and lows. Some really high and some really low. That’s the way life is. Expect it and you won’t be disappointed. If we are open to Jesus,he teaches us through every circumstance. Being a mom is wonderful and hard at the same time. We are called to teach and train our children to love Jesus and to be a good person. We need to model a godly life. More is caught than taught. Children are smart and see through hypocrisy. Deal with your baggage before passing it on to your children.
Here are some seasons of mothering that I found.
The Anticipation of Being a Mother
Where you observe everyone else’s parenting and say I would never do that or that’s the only way to mother. There is a balance. There are many ways to raise great adults. (That is the goal,right?)
What the heck did I get myself into. I didn’t think I was this selfish. Realizing you were a better parent before you had children. This is hard but so worth it.
The Baby Stage
When am I going to be able to sleep? The awe and wonder of a new life. The miracle of birth. Watching and observing growth in front of our eyes.
The Preschool Age
This is one of my favorite seasons being that I taught preschool off and on for over 20 years. All the questions that children ask!? Please write down some of the funny things that your children say. One day I was putting on my makeup and my daughter asked if I was afraid? I said no why? Because “You are putting on mascara” ( scare). Too funny.
Siblings are a good thing, right? Different stages … different personalities…Juggling life begins to get more obvious. The youngest wanting the first ones attention. The oldest wanting nothing to do with the youngest. And the sibling rivalry begins. Children will get attention whether it’s positive or negative. Your life will be much easier if you reward the positive. God, many times, gives us children with different personality types so that they will learn from each other for the future.
Activities and sports are supposed to be good for children, right? When our children were young we tried not to have a lot of activities going on. This is great time to teach personal responsibilities. We honored Sunday as a day of church and rest. Saturday was chore day and family day. There were sports during the week but not on the weekend. I’ve seen way to many exhausted kids who are constantly going and they don’t know how to just be.
WOW this was the best time for my husband to father. Raising 3 beautiful and wonderful girls who were usually PMS-ing at the same time as their mom was a sure and present danger. We did make it through this time and can laugh now about this season of life. Having good but difficult discussions, helping them to set boundaries for themselves. What kind of friends, movies, activities they were going to be involved in. At times it involved being the bad guy.
Becoming a coach and a counselor. Letting them have freedom but being there for support.
Adult Stage (notice that the college age is different than adult age )
Being out of college and making the majority of decisions on their own but asking for advice. Now is the time to be their friend. To offer advice when asked.
Every season has it’s pros and cons and every mother has their favorite time of life. I tend to take the season as it comes because once I get used to the season it changes.
God has opened up a new season of mothering other adult children. Over the years we have had many people live with us for one reason or another. We had exchange students for a week or a month. (Great way to expose your children to other cultures. ) We’ve had young ladies who’ve gone to college and needed a safe place to live. This has been a joy to help others who haven’t had the stability from their birth families. I believe it takes a village to raise a child. We have had people (mostly young women) living with us for over 30 years off and on. The last 10 have been more intentional to show love and support to the calling of God upon their lives. We need community to learn and grow in a healthy way. Community becomes involved in each other’s lives. We pray together,cry together, laugh together, we do life together. I’m very thankful for the community that God has placed around me and my family. We are better people because of living in community.