How to Find Beauty in Birthdays After Loss

In honor of my mom’s birthday week, I wanted to write a post about celebrating a loved one’s birthday who has passed away.

Birthdays are supposed to be full of laughter, fun, celebration, cake, food, and friends, right? I kind of make a big deal about birthdays, ask my husband. It’s celebrating the birth of the individual! Celebrating their life! That’s huge, and maybe I think it’s super huge because I have lost my mom.


What if the life you are celebrating is no longer with you? How do you celebrate that? One year you’re celebrating their present life and who they are and that they exist, and the next year they’re gone. Whether it’s been one year, five years, or 25 years, they were still a life, they still existed, they walked the earth, and you’re still thinking of them on their birthday. Celebrating a birthday of a deceased loved one is hard, no doubt about it, in fact for some maybe it’s harder then the date they passed away.

It’s another reminder that they aren’t with you. BUT… It’s another reminder that life is a gift, and every birthday is a miracle because it was another year you are breathing, your body is working, and your health is good.

This month my mom would have turned 59!

I remember the last birthday we had with her. It was 2008, and we went to a Mongolian BBQ. She was having a conversation with the waiter about age and how it doesn’t matter how old you are. She was just thankful to be celebrating another year of life. She was just thankful for another breath.

I have a lot of great memories of my mom’s birthday. A lot of my teen years, we would go to Mt. High and snowboard/ski because she got a free lift ticket on her birthday! One year we brought a cake up to the mountain and had a blast! Sometimes we would go to my grandma’s house and have a family dinner, and one time I took her to see the play “It’s a Wonderful Life,” at a local theater. There are so many good, and cherished memories.

Some tips to still making their birthday beautiful:

-Sing happy birthday. My friend lost her daughter at age 10, she told me that she sings Happy Birthday every year still.

-Eat their favorite kind of cake. Bake it or buy, whatever you feel like doing. I eat carrot cake on my mom’s birthday. I can’t remember if that is her favorite or mine, haha. Either way that’s what I eat on her birthday.

-Start a new tradition. Since being married to Kyle, we have started a tradition of getting a Christmas tree and decorating it on my mom’s birthday.

-Have a family dinner. Talk with your family about some of your favorite birthday memories you shared with the person.

Happy birthday momma! You left a beautiful legacy, and I’m SO SO SO glad you were born.

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Comments (3)

  • Cecilia 4 years ago Reply

    I know that your mom is smiling on you and she is so so glad that you were born! Hold tight to your memories for you shall be together again, when there will be not pain or sadness ?

    Ceci 4 years ago Reply

    Thank you! You are so kind and that means a lot!

    Ceci 3 years ago Reply

    Idk why I just saw this, but thank you!

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