Hip Nationwide Deliveries to Help You Celebrate with Others During Pandemic

As the pandemic continues I keep hearing of more celebrations that are being canceled and postponed. As a huge fan of celebrating, I started to think of creative ways to still party on under “stay at home” orders.

This post is for the ones who have birthdays, weddings, graduations, anniversaries and new things to celebrate! I see you, well kind of but I know you’re out there. I’m not judging you if buy some of these things for yourself either.

Flowers:

Farmgirl Flowers

Natural Succulents

Sweets:

Blooming Lilipops

MILK Bar

Lets Get Baked Artisan Desserts

Care packages:

Laurel Box (great for mother’s day, and for people grieving)

Knack Gifts

Roam Homegrown

Greeting Cards:

HHW Comfort Cards ($5 for a card to get mailed for you!)

Beverage:

Winc

Personalize coffee

Specific:

Birthday for her: Custom flower grow kit, confetti poppers

Birthday for kids: Name puzzle for him or her

Graduation: confetti poppers

7 Tips for Self-Publishing

So you want to write a book?

Since publishing Healing, Hope & Wholeness 2 years ago, I’ve been asked a handful of times how I got started, what was the process like, how long did it take, and what are some good online tools. I am more than happy to share what I’ve learned, but remember I’ve only scratched the surface with one book. So I still have more to learn as well!I am really excited that something in your life has moved you to get your voice in print, or that you’ve had a creative writing lead and you’ve been itching to put it together and create a story to share with others! Writing and self-publishing a book is more accessible than you might think!“

If not now then when? If not me then who?” These are the questions that urged me to write. When I started writing drafts for my memoir/biography I felt completely unqualified because I didn’t major in English, self-doubt was thick, and I had literally no idea how to begin or what each step would look like. Every time I took a step closer toward the end goal I didn’t know what I was doing or what would be next, but every time I figured it out. You’ll figure it as you go, what you need to know.It took me about a year and half from start to finish, to write and self-publish Healing, Hope & Wholeness. Below you’ll find my timeline and tips! When in doubt just reach out, you’ll find what you’re looking for somewhere online or through an individual. 

Timeline (a year and a half total):

• Month One:

  • Idea

• Month Four:

  • Implemented writing routine

• Month 10

  • About 75% of the book done

  • Started and found an editor

  • Daydreaming about the cover

• Month 12

  • Editing continues

  • Book finished

  • Start brainstorming fundraising ideas

• Month 13

  • Found book cover designer

• Month 16

  • Launch Kickstarter (raised $3,500)

• Month 17

  • Editing done

• Month 18

  • Released book with a party!

Tips:

1. Write your why and tape it somewhere visible!

2. Social Media:

   1. Start a Facebook page

      1. When your book is released people can tag your book!

   2. Document the process, people like to see things come to fulfillment and feel like a part of your project!

   3. Start a blog before

      1. If this fits for what you’re writing, I highly recommend doing something that helps get you more of an online audience. You’ll need it when it comes to fundraising.

      2. I started a blog after and I wish I started it before!

3. Hire:

   1. Editor

      1. When in doubt Google book editors in your area

      2. Here is my wonderful editor: https://shaylaraquel.com

   2. Formatter

      1. This is about the layout, hire someone to do this, it’s worth the money because it’s very detailed work

   3. Designer

      1. I really believe this is what sets books apart. Some self-publishing platforms have pre-designed covers, I highly recommended you choose a different route. You could have amazing content but a generic cover and get fewer readers.

      2. People do judge a book by its cover

4. Think long term:

   1. It’s easy to focus on releasing the book, raising money and celebrating but remember to have goals post book release

5. Online tools:

   1. Createspace:

      1. An Amazon company for self-publishing

      2. https://www.createspace.com

   2. Nook Press: https://www.nookpress.com/ebooks

6. Writing:

   1. Have a writing schedule

      1. Pick days and times that you know you feel the sharpest

   2. Have a writing routine

      1. Light a candle, drink tea, pick a coffee shop

      2. Have a beginning routine that tells your mind it’s writing time

   3. Create drafts

      1. Don’t be afraid to just start, make as many drafts as you want with the freedom to write every thought on your mind

      2. Remember drafts aren’t the final thing

  Keep me posted on your book writing journey, I’d love to hear how it goes!   

You are a Book, part 3

How did it go? Did you create time to do the things or create the space where you feel the Lord talks to you most?

As we are striving for more healing and wholeness in our lives, please remember that we are not striving for perfection. We are not striving toward an end goal. It’s a constant goal of emotional healthiness.

We don’t have to be perfect to help others.

I believe in professional counseling and I also believe the Lord is our counselor. He is the wisest, he restores, he redeems, he heals, he corrects, and he loves us unconditionally.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Psalm 147:3

 Let’s recap, so far you’ve:

-Written out the events of your life on paper, highs and lows included-You’ve reflected on the positive and negative events/moments that you’ve encountered and why/what about them were the most impactful

-You’ve reflected what areas of your life could use more healing

-You’ve hopefully identified how the Lord speaks to you, which in turn may be how the Lord heals you

When looking back at your circles (part 1), if you could go back to any of the “negative events/memories” and give advice, which negative event/memory would it be? It’s no secret that the most impactful negative event was loosing my mom to cancer when I was 18. Because of the loss of my mom, I want to help others who have lost a parent, who’ve experienced the heart wrenching pain of death, or who don’t feel hopeful that the heaviness of grief will get better. There’s a lot of ways I could be a resource and help others, there’s a lot of ways you can be too. Whatever you picked as your most impactful life event the first thing to helping others and being a book is to: BE OPEN.

In being open and sharing you will experience healing, and they will experience healing. In part 1 I asked you pretend that you’ve written a biography, and to write down what the back of your book would say about you. Now, after much writing and reflecting write it again.How is it different? How are you viewing yourself differently?

Wrapping up this short series, I hope that you feel more like a book then when you first started. When you feel like a book, full of stories and experiences, then you can feel like a resource to help others.

Do you want to sit on a shelf and collect dust or do you want to be read?     

You are a Book, part 2

How are you feeling? By this time you’ve done some major reflecting and wrote down the most impactful positive and negative moments thus far of your life. I believe there is something so powerful about seeing your life on paper.

As I sit here, typing this post up I am trying to imagine the events and moments you’ve written down. It’s not easy looking back, or shuffling through your mental filing cabinet. But remember we are doing this to launch you forward to a healthier you, and in turn hopefully use your story to help others.Now, it's time for more reflecting. I encourage you to sit in a non-distracting peaceful place, turn on some instrumental music and take three breaths.While observing your circles (part 1), with a pen and journal handy ask your self these questions:

1. When looking at the most impactful negative events, what stings the most? Does there need to be more healing, forgiveness, love, grace, boundaries, or trust?

2. When looking at the most impactful positive events, what feeling, person, or attribute specifically stands out to you? What made it the most positive?

3. Throughout your circles/life how has the Lord spoken to you? What does he use to get to you, to get your attention, or to your heart? Is there a reoccurring way he speaks to you?

 From my personal journey with the Lord, the way he speaks to me is the way he heals me. I talk a lot in my book about how the Lord uses community, music, and traveling to bring healing, hope, and wholeness to my life. Simply writing those three things down excites my heart!

For yourself, after reflecting how the Lord speaks to you may be the way the Lord brings healing to you, are you creating time for those things?

I don’t have a whole lot of my three things in my life at the moment in the midst of our move/transition. I have friends and family don’t get me wrong, but my husband and I don’t have a consistent community that we are plugged into, and I thrive on being plugged into I place where I can serve, connect, and invest. I’m not playing or writing a whole lot of music, and two months ago we finished an amazing traveling adventure called Joyward. I feel convicted for sure, because I’m not creating time for the things I can do like write music or worship with my guitar alone.

Are you creating time?

You are a Book, part 1

  In the previous post I wrote a bit about viewing yourself as a book. Today I want to write about the power of looking back and looking forward. This is important because:

1. We are filled with stories that matter

2. We could help others with what we’ve learned or help them by simply being more understanding

3. We can better see where the Lord has been, or where we’ve felt he hasn’t been, and our pattern with him

4. We can learn to identify patterns and tendencies in ourselves

Like I mentioned before, there are about 7.4 billion people in the world, each filled with a variety of experiences and lessons learned.You’re one of them.

That ratio may sound a little overwhelming; there are obviously a lot of lives out there. But a lot of lives mean a lot of different perspectives, different upbringings, and different outcomes.Picture a bookstore with 7.4 billion books, and they’re at your fingertips. Meaning, you have access to see how someone else is handling, or has handled a similar situation to what you’re going through.

While approaching monumental life events, I’ve heard people joke around saying things such as, “There is no handbook on how to be a mom, and my baby didn’t come with one!” Or, “Grief does not come with guidelines, what do I do?”

That is the thing, life doesn’t come with a handbook, but we do have stories…. stories from the Bible, stories from you, and stories from me.I’m un-decided at the moment how long this “You are a Book” series will be, but hopefully what you take away from this series is the start of a book, written by……the one and only, YOU.

Knowing yourself in a well-rounded way leads to wholeness and out of that leads to healthy living.

If you are in charge of taking care of a rose bush that you know nothing about, you’re not going to be able to nourish it to it’s fullest potential. But, if you know where it came from, and what kind of seed it is, you can keep your rose bush healthy, flourishing, and lively. Cheesy, but our lives are like that.If you know and are aware of who you are inside and out, all corners of your life, where you’ve been broken, and where you’ve been made new, you can nourish yourself making yourself healthy, flourishing, and lively.

Ready? (Get some paper, pencils, colored pencils, play some good instrumental music, get something yummy to drink, and a snack. All things are better while snacking).

1. First I want you to pray. If you don’t pray, feel free to try it out, I highly recommend inviting the Lord to be part of the process. Pray that the Lord opens your eyes, ears, heart, and mind to remember, to identify, and to be open to what’s to come.

2. Pretend you already wrote a biography. On the back of your book there’s a paragraph or two that briefly describes what the reader would be getting into. It’s a summary of what’s inside. What would it say about your book? Now write it down. When you’re done, set it aside, save it for later.

3. Get a large poster board, and lay it landscape wise. For every 5-8 years (you decide) of your life draw a circle along a straight, horizontal line. Connect them using lines.

4. Now it’s time to reflect:

   1. Think about your childhood, your teen years, your 20’s and so on.

   2. Think and write down on a piece of paper the most impactful 5-10 core trials in your life that distracted you for a while, the ones that caused you to question, tempted you, broke your heart, scared you, the biggest transitions, or moments that made you feel negative.

   3. Think and write down on the same piece of paper, the most impactful 5-10 moments you were most joyful, passionate, alive, rejuvenated, healthy, or the times you were most excited for the next day

5. Remember each circle represent 5-8 years of your life. Using only 2 words to describe each trial, break up the trials chronologically, and transfer them down in your circles. Use one colored pencil for all the trials, and using only half the space of the circle.

6. Again, Using only 2 words to describe the joyful memories, break them up chronologically, and transfer them in your circles. Use a different color from the trials, for your joyful memories, and using the other half of the circle.

   1. *by this time you should have a landscape poster board with circles drawn horizontally across, in one single line. They should be filled with your top negative and positive memories in 2 different colored pencils.

7. How does it feel to look at your life on paper, in a big picture scale? You just did a lot of work, if I could give you a high five I would! I don’t take lightly that for some of you this was incredibly painful, or your first time intentionally reflecting on your past. Take your time on this project. You may have started to feel former negative feelings again, hurt, hate, abandonment, failure, sadness, or confusion. Hopefully you started feeling former positive feelings from treasured memories. With all of the thoughts, go wherever you feel closest to the Lord, somewhere you can be alone, and just sit rest.

You Are a Book.

What’s your story?As you know, I wrote a book. It’s my story, my life events, the ups and downs, the people I love, and the seasons that challenged me. It’s a timeline of my life. People often say to me, “I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I wouldn’t know where to begin.” Or, “I have some stuff in my life I could write about.”Can I tell you something? You are a book……because…

1. You are a human

2. You are a human

3. You are a human

Between birth and death, in you there are stories, experiences, areas of expertise, and lessons learned that could help others. There is information in you that is different from everyone else, because no one sees the world you do.Maybe you think what you have is not valuable or worthy of sharing. Someone else has already written a book about it, made a documentary on it, started a small group for it, or wrote a blog based on it. Does the world really need another story?Yes.What I’m not saying is: become a walking book of life tips. Please don’t, that’s annoying.What I am saying is: it is a powerful thing to outline your life, be able to identify your highs and lows, triumphs and failure, hurts and healings, and be available to those who’ve walked a similar path as you. This is not only good for others but good for you.There are tens of thousands of different kind of seashells. There are about 100,000 different types of trees in the world. There are at least 400,000 different types of flowers. There are about 950,000 different species of insects. As of 2016 there are 7.4 billion people in the world….and all those people live very very different stories. Some of those 7.4 billion people have a roof over their head, maybe have food, maybe have access to water, or maybe have a family. Some of those 7.4 billion people maybe have dealt with suicidal thoughts, war, addiction, loss, loneliness, abandonment, abuse, terminal disease, or a mental illness. This is life all over the world, because at the end of the day we are all first: a human with a heartbeat.What if we lived in a world where no one could relate, because we didn’t share the most vulnerable parts of us?  We would all feel alone and maybe crazy.  We'd have no resources to deal with what we're going through. What if we lived in a world where we didn’t hear stories? There would be no true story movies or non-fiction books. We’d all be consuming false information and comparing our lives to the unrealistic.We are real people, and we continually need real stories to relate with, to encourage us, to inspire us, to motivate us to a healthy life and healthy choices.You are book.Where are you in your book? Beginning, middle, or close to the end?I will be doing a short series soon on helping you unfold your story by guiding you with your timeline and identify key events that contributed to who you are today.Check back next week to be apart of the “You are a book” series.         

California Book Party

Wow, it's been a whirlwind the past couple weeks, dare I say the past couple months. But still, totally fabulous. I had the honor to go home (thanks to some sweet close friends) to celebrate the release of my book! Now, I can't imagine the book journey without that memory of being home amongst some of the characters in my book while reading the book to them. It just felt right, and I'm thankful for that moment. We had a great time!

As you can see from the pictures, the party was in a backyard so it had a very chill vibe. It felt like a family reunion and I loved it! We ate some cupcakes, drank some lemonade and just hung out. I signed some books (they forced me) and swapped memories of my dear mother. The whole night was more than I could have imagined.

I have no idea what is next for the book, I mean I have some crazy ideas but ideas set in stone.....none at the moment. What do you guys think about a book tour around the country! Holler if you are interested. For now I am super pumped about hearing stories from you guys as you are reading the book. Don't forget that you can share your thoughts on this website and connect with others. The whole goal of the book and the site is to make grief an approachable conversation instead of feared, and to connect with others who have walked a similar path. Thank you everyone, for your stellar support! (Photo Credit: Delaney Bush)

Oklahoma Book Release Party

Book release day was a blast, the party was more than I could have imagined. The hours leading up to the party felt so slow (longest day ever!) and then when party time arrived it was the fastest two hours ever! The event started out with some meet and greet time, just hanging out with everyone as they arrived. Then my sweet husband, Kyle, and my friend Sarah hosted the giveaways. I have to admit I wanted to put my name in the drawing because I was in love with every single prize. I didn't though, for the record. After the giveaways I spoke about my background for a little bit and the reason why I wrote the book. Then I sang two of my originals, Legacy and This is Not Goodbye. I literally had a cheat sheet with me, made and ready for the ten minuets I was speaking, but when I got up there I set it aside and I guess I decided to just not use it. Apparently, I felt I had it under control on the whim?? Because of that, I forgot to read the introduction of the book to everyone, but it still went well!I just want to say a huge thank you to some people, because this party would not have happened without a team!

Thank you to my brainstorming team, Kyle, Sarah, Michelle (and for being my stylist), Cody (and for taking photos), Kelsee, and Kim. Thank you Hoot Owl for hosting us, Nick for sound set up, all the cup cake bakers (everything was delcious), everyone who helped set up and clean, and to everyone who came!

This handsome guy (my husband) was a major help!

A huge thank you to the local artists and stores who contributed to the giveaways! Darby & Dash, Ascent, The Threaded Fox, and Prairie Letter Shop.

The talented graphic designer, Katie O'Toole

My favorite bands to create the perfect writing environment

 I love music! I think its super influential and I’m totally a lyric person. Notes, melodies, words, and beats are so powerful! When I was younger I was into snowboarding and I'd look forward to the snowboarder magazines. One of my favorite things to read was the short bio’s on the boarders. Part of the fun facts about the boarders was what they listened to while shredding the slopes. Because I obviously need to listen to it as well so I can shred like them! Hahaha.

Anyway, since I thoroughly enjoy learning about what my friends and role models listen to, I thought it would be neat to share what bands I listened to while writing my book.Here’s my top 10:

1. Explosions in the sky

2. Jonsi

3. Balmorhea

4. Caspian

5. All the Bright lights

6. Dustin O’Halloran

7. The Album Leaf

8. The Six Parts Seven

9. Austin Stone

10. This Will Destroy

What tunes do you listen to while writing?

Passing it on.

During my early on days of loss we were surrounded by so much love and wisdom. I also had the privilege of going through about 4 months of grief-focused counseling that my college offered for free. That was the best decision ever. I was a tad apprehensive about it but instantly became a fan. I didn’t become a believer in it because it was easy and comfortable. It was actually hard, ugly, and uncomfortable BUT relieving and helped me let go of burdens I had been carrying. Each session was like letting go of a brick. Some of the best advice I received was from other females who had walked the same path as I. Some were many years into the healing journey and some were fresher. ALL of it was helpful because they had been in my shoes. I was them on day one of loss. Day one of re-entering my surroundings and feeling uncomfortable in my own circle. Besides their insightful words they passed on to me, what was most helpful was their presence. They existed. They stayed alive. They kept going. It spoke volumes to me, to see them living, thriving, and smiling. Loss has an unspoken club that doesn’t need a mascot or a secret handshake to recognize each other, but simply a glance.

When I meet someone or hear of someone that is just starting out their healing journey and their pain is tender, I want to reach out and tell them so many things! When I was a hospital chaplain there were many times where I would be with a family as they just lost a loved one. Being on the outside I could see a ways down their path, the possibilities, tough days, and healing that lies ahead. I could see their light at the end of the tunnel because I’ve walked a similar path. “I know it seems impossible right now, and take your time, but you will smile again.” What would you pass on to your Day 1 self? The self that just went through a life changing event, that is at a crossroads, or that is about to start an adventure. 

The beginning of Healing, Hope & Wholeness

I'm super stoked about this month, this summer, and this book writing adventure! Currently I feel like my mind is going a million miles per second, and my feet are having a hard time catching up. I have to constantly tell myself to take a chill pill, but I'm just so excited about everything that there aren't enough hours in the day! Right now I'm planning two book release parties. One in Oklahoma and one in my hometown in California. I have been so blessed with help and support from my stellar friends. My husband, Kyle,  and I couldn't put these two parties on by ourselves, and I wouldn't want to. Phew!

Even though I am done writing the book (that's a big relief) it's really all just the beginning. Which is awesome!Last night Kyle reminded me that I wrote a book....Oh right, sometimes I literally forget that and I get caught up in just focusing on my to do list for marketing, distributing, and events. I love reflecting and concentrating on my "why." Why I wrote the book, why it drove me through late nights, and sometimes inspiration-less moments to keep writing. (You can read about my why in the book.) Small beginnings are really rad to look back on, each time I made the effort to write, it made a difference. There was a time when I sat down (the very very beginning) and I had no clue what I wanted to write about or how to even get started on a BOOK. I laugh about it a lot but it's very true: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING BUT I KEEP WRITING ON.

In honor of it just beginning  and never fully knowing what the heck I'm doing here's some photos of the writing journey!

I don't even remember how many outlines I wrote. But this is what it looked like often. Papers everywhere. I'm visual and old fashion.

This was the very very start of wanting to write a book. It was my 2014 new years resolution.

The Frost's very first "Dream Room" where I specifically remember stumbling upon my mom's blog and decided to incorporate it in the book!

This is our current "Dream Room", in our house where I spent a lot of time writing when I needed to hardcore focus.

One of the first times I sat down to write. This delicious place is called Cuppies and Joe and felt like home just with better treats and drinks.

This is when we recorded the audio for the book trailer. Kyle got creative and hung the mic from the ceiling fan. Hey, you make it work.

One of my favorite local spots to write is Shades of Brown. If I needed a cozy, homey, and yummy chai latte this was my place.

One of my favorite and kind places to write: Hoboken. I wish I could have spent more time here but the drive was a tad bit long for an afternoon writing session. This was more of a day trip stop.

The cutest English feeling place around. I loved sitting in the window and writing. Heirloom is sweet.

Officially finished writing the whole book. It felt real good.

Officially having the book printed and in my hand was a fabulous feeling. I was nervous turning each page, waiting for a drastic mistake. But we're good!