As I sit here in my dreary apartment feeling stiff, dull, and bored, I think about the backdrop to this scene that is the current chaos of COVID-19. Was it not just two Tuesdays back that I was surrounded by friends ordering amazingly cheap tacos and margaritas in Malibu? It was. I am still struggling to adjust to the screeching halt of our world that has left the majority of us in quarantine. Side note: THANK YOU to all of our frontliners who are courageously going to work, risking their own health and safety for the greater good.
Although my week days are still occupied by teletherapy sessions and note writing, it is the evenings and weekends that I find myself thinking about how to cope amidst the stress and blah that is this global pause. I recall one of my professors in my graduate program emphasizing something like this: “If you take away a bad or maladaptive coping skill, you must replace it with an effective one.” This recollection really made the wheels in my anxious head turn. How will I cope? How will America cope? How ON EARTH are we all going to cope?
It seems to me that our initial instinct is to overindulge when coping under stress. I admit, I am guilty of eating a tub of Ben and Jerry’s (Dairy-Free Peanut Butter Half Baked), rather than going to barre class or going on a walk. My heart says “YES”, but a phrase comes to mind that reminds me how ineffective ice cream can be: “a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips.” This brings me back to my initial question with a slight tweak: “how do we cope well?”
In mental health, we have this thing called the “mind-body connection.” This idea is built on the concept that trauma or excessive stress interrupts the unity of the body and mind. Furthermore, as humans, we often cope the easiest ways we know how, not realizing that our lack of knowledge can actually perpetuate our disconnection of mind and body, i.e. eating an entire tub of ice cream.
Alternatively, here are a few techniques that will help reconnect your mind to your body:
Deep Breathing - This is the simplest technique, yet highly effective. Take a moment, close your eyes, and draw your attention to your breath. Notice how your stomach rises and falls as you breathe air in and out. It is important to ensure your breath is coming from the depths of your lungs, not just your chest. This technique is only effective if the breaths are deep. To ensure deep breathing, you can lay down and notice your belly rise and fall, pushing all the excess air out of your lungs. Also, you can place the palms of your hands either behind your neck (power pose) or a little above your waist (wonder woman pose) to ensure deep breaths. Breath in deep (typically 4-5 seconds) and release (typically 6-7 seconds).
Grounding - This technique is really great for people (like myself) who experience anxiety or panic. If you notice your mind beginning to race and it feels like you are on a runaway train that cannot be stopped, try this: place both of your feet on the ground and find somewhere to place your hands (arm rests, on the sides of your body, or wrapped around yourself). Draw your attention to your feet on the ground, your hands wrapped around yourself or on the chair, and the breath in your lungs. Notice the security of the chair holding you up or the safety of your home that shelters you. The goal of this exercise is to reduce all movement and to ground the mind from where it has wandered.
Happy Place - I love this technique because it genuinely makes me happy. Begin by closing your eyes and thinking about the last time you felt truly happy. How did that feel? Were you with someone or were you by yourself? Where were you? What was the scenery? Was it a beautiful place? How did it feel in your body? How was it for your soul? Perhaps it was a beautiful space in nature, at a party surrounded by quality people, or at home with your significant other. Let your mind go back to that moment and savor the way it made you feel. Stay there for a moment. Recall the happiness you felt and rest in that. Remember that you can always return to that moment whenever you wish.
I think we can all agree that COVID-19 has been nothing less that traumatic and stressful. Rather than responding to this crisis with our typical coping skills, i.e. online shopping, stress eating, dissociating by watching hours of Netflix or Disney+, falling into the blackhole of memes that have saturated Instagram, or being excessively invested in the news, let’s listen to what our bodies need. Let’s take a minute to reconnect with ourselves and cope well. This is not to negate the fact that we are in complete crisis mode but rather an opportunity to take care of yourself, in hopes of a better tomorrow.
I wanted to take the time to share this because I believe we can come out of this situation more adept at handling the anxieties that come with being human and the trauma and stressors that come with living on this earth. If we are intentional with the extra moments we have while the world has seemingly paused, our mental health and well-being can be changed for the better. We have an opportunity to learn to be comfortable with slow living, let’s take it while it’s in our grasps. Sending you all the good vibes and peace.
Dailey
Dailey is a twenty-something living in Los Angeles, CA. She is a social worker who provides therapy for people who experience mental illness. In her spare time, you can find her at a barre class, having a deep conversation over tacos, or with her local girl gang.